One of the best parts of being a sex educator and a blogger is being surrounded by not only tons of smart and sexy people, but people that can you great advice on a myriad of topics. I personally teach workshops on not just sex and sex toy tips, but also about body confidence in the bedroom and I’m just loud and proud as a fat person who has been plus size their entire adult life. This is not to say that I don’t have my own insecurities, and moments of weakness.
Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Would you let someone insult your best friend? Deny them the food they would enjoy? Absolutely not!! So why would you do that to yourself?
Do we think we’re not worth the advice? Or do we simply think we don’t need it? We are, and we do. Sure, we’re adults who can make our own decisions, but sometimes we need a fresh perspective on things, the same kind of fresh perspective we’re trying to give our friends when we hand out advice.
Be kind to yourself.
Why are some of us so good at giving advice, but terrible when it comes to taking our own advice? It’s probably because we’re simply too close to your own problems, and your emotions are more likely to cloud your judgement. It’s much easier to identify the most rational option. What you need is a way to DISTANCE yourself from your own problems. A way to analyze them as an outsider. When something is personal to us, we tend to look at factors that are irreverent to the actual situation.
Let’s say you’re facing a tough decision, whatever it is. Trying to introduce a new toy to a partner; opening up your relationship; branching out; etc. Whatever the case may be. Instead of asking yourself “What should I do?” Pretend you’re giving advice to your best friend!
Next time you’re giving someone advice, pay close attention to your own words. There’s a pretty good chance you’re saying something you need to hear as well.
Then comes the hardest step. Actually follow through with the advice, and do the thing! Trust me, I know it’s hard and depending on what it is, can be terrifying or awkward. Examine what you have to gain or lose from a situation or decision and then make your move!