We all know a sex worker, even if we don’t realize it. So how can we spoil those that society forgets? With FOSTA/SESTA and internet censorship in general it’s hard out here for us sex workers. We all know common decency when it comes to other folks who provide services for us, so why isn’t treating sex workers with the same respect the usual?
When it comes to changing the toxic culture around how sex workers are treated in society, it’s up to all of us (not just sex workers) to address our own biases, which can have harmful consequences if left unchecked.
Love Us, Unconditionally
For a current or even a former sex worker to fall in love is a dangerous, and radical act. This is mostly because we live in a world that hates sex workers. This means that we are simply not treated as people worth loving back.
Not all sex workers are women, but the sex industry is largely and disproportionately made up of women. Which mean the stigma against sex workers is part of misogyny that most women have to interact with. The normalization of sex worker abuse contributes to the abuse of all women.
Don’t Throw It In Our Face
If you’re arguing with a friend or partner that’s a sex worker, don’t ever use their job or marginalized status as an insult. It shows us the bias you still hold by bringing it up during our most vulnerable moments. Treat us like humans that do a job, not someone who’s entire identity is their occupation.
Don’t Try To Force Us To Stop Working
People do sex work for millions of reasons, some people love their job and some people hate it (like any other job!). So don’t pressure your friend or lover to quit. For starters, not everybody wants to. Even when we do, transitioning out of the industry can be difficult. People that transition out of the industry and then are outed, can lose their job or even be harassed. It’s especially awkward when clients try to “save” us from our jobs. Please just let us enjoy it, or hate it in peace. If someone wants help, let them ask you.
Don’t Use Us To Embarrass a Friend
If you hire any sex worker to try to make your uptight friend uncomfortable, there’s a solid chance that the sex worker is uncomfortable too. No one wants to do their job with someone protesting or just feeling uncomfortable. Especially if we’re naked and vulnerable as well. It just isn’t a good feeling. Sex work should be consentual for all parties involved.
If we have to be in close quarters with you in any aspect please take your personal hygiene seriously. Mouthwash, deodorant, even a quick spritz of rosewater can make the difference. It’s just good manners.
Respect Their Privacy
Sex workers use alias’s and untraceable phone numbers for safety. Sure you aren’t going to hurt them, but no one can ever be sure. Things you should never say are “tell me your real name? Don’t you have a mobile number, so I can reach you directly?” “Can we do it without a condom”
Bottom line; No. Being a sex worker comes with so many risks, so we all value our privacy. Also respect boundaries that sex workers set. If someone tells you no or stop to any action then you listen. It’s simple as that.