I bet you always thought anal sex was when you penetrate the anus huh?
Sex in general doesn’t have to prescribe to the old notion of sex being the act of being penetrated. Sex is pretty much anything that feels sexual. How YOU choose to define sex might be an evolving definition, your sexual interests may change over time, and that’s okay. Read more here.
So what does that mean for Anal?
Anal can be a fun journey, you don’t always have to have a destination. Sometimes low pressure play can be a fun experience for folks. There are tons of things to do to butts that don’t involve penetrating it!
Butt massage can be a pleasurable ways to relax. The butt muscles are large powerful muscles that work constantly throughout the day. Butt massage can also be foreplay, if you want it to be! Butt massage floods the pelvis with fresh blood flow, enhancing sexual sensations and increasing arousal.
The largest buttock muscle is the gluteus maximus. If you place your hand directly on you buttock, you are touching the gluteus maximus muscle. Underneath and slightly to the outside of the gluteus maximus is the gluteus medius muscle. On the outer edge of the buttock is the tensor fasciae latae. The tendon of the tensor fasciae latae goes all the way from the hip to the knee and is called the IT band.
- Warm up the muscles with general Swedish effleurage and petrissage.
- Starting at the top of the gluteus maximus, use your elbow to massage down toward the thigh. Repeat this massage stroke until you cover the entire muscle.
- Find the gluteus medius then hook your fingers into the muscle and either make circles or pull to take the slack out of the muscle.
- To massage some of the deep lateral rotators massage in a fan-like pattern toward the sacrum.
Rimming with fingers
Rubbing the outside of the sphincter can feel amazing. I would recommend using a gloved hand instead of a naked hand because the fingers have a lot of texture on them. Adding a glove will smooth everything out and basically make your hand feel like a really affordable sex toy! With the glove rubbing the backdoor you absolutely need lube with it. Here is a guide to what lube would be best for what activity you’re doing. Use the pads of your fingers if you don’t intend on going inside, the pads of your fingers will feel better then the tips if you’re just rubbing the outside.
Rimming with mouths
Well I have a entire post about this! So read more here. But to sum it up, use your tongue to make different sensations. You can make your tongue pointy and hard or flat and broad to create a variety of sensations and licks for the backdoor. You can always use dental dams if you don’t feel comfortable putting your mouth directly on the anus, and add lube. Flavored will always be good for oral activities, just make sure it’s glycerin free so you don’t make someone butt all sticky.
For non penetrative butt toys make sure you pick a flat toy, not a long skinny toy. So toys like the We-vibe Touch or JeJoue Mimi are great toys that can stimulate the outside without worrying that the lube your using is going to have the toy accidentally slip inside.
Avoid toys like the We vibe tango or Sensuelle point because they can easily slip inside and get lost.
Go forth for anal august!!